I wonder
by GleeFullParadise
Summary: She was never meant to hear it, but now she's here and Rachel has to pour her heart out.
1. Chapter 1

I wonder |Rachel and Shelby

_Just a little something that popped into my head when watching the "Poker face" scene…again. A Rachel and Shelby story with a small hint of Faberry. Just a one shot right now, however reviews may help inspire a plot line. _

_Also feel free to check out my continuing Brittana story, "Be my escape."_

_Song- "I wonder, by Kellie Pickler." I just tweaked a few things. _

_All Glee rights belong to Ryan Murphy and co. etc etc…. _

"I can't believe I'm saying this, and I'll deny it should this ever be repeated but, I'm not good enough. This competition is one of the most popular armature song-writing competitions in this state!"

Tina sighed as she listened to Rachel try and talk her way out of this amazing opportunity. She knew the loud Jewish girl could do this and win. So why was she being so _stubborn!_

"Rachel. You can do this, I know you can. After all it was _your_ song that won us Regionals. If you don't do this you'll regret it. Besides you want to be famous. This could help propel you forward."

Rachel looked up from the admission form her eyes had been raking over as she listened to the kind-hearted Asian girl. Could she do it? Could she write her own music and be able to win this? It was true, she reminded herself, "Get it right" was one of the songs that had won them Regionals.

However as she sat there, she reminded herself of the pain she was in at the time she had written it, pain at Quinn's words. Words that meant one thing to the blonde, and a completely different thing to Rachel, who hated hearing the former head cheerleader plan out her life with Finn, when Rachel so wanted it to be with her. Boy was she glad that had soon been all sorted out.

"I'll think about it." Rachel simply replied, before being assaulted with a warm hug from Tina.

"I can't do this!" Rachel stated as she turned with panic in her eyes to look at Quinn, who was waiting back stage with her girlfriend, who was growing more anxious by the second. Rachel was mentally kicking herself for going through with this. She should never have agreed to this, but of course Quinn wanted her to, and there wasn't a thing in this world Rachel Berry wouldn't do for Quinn Fabray.

Of course that doesn't stop the nerves from exploding in her stomach. She was a singer. That's what she did; she sang the words _other _people wrote. So what was she doing? This wasn't even the finals; it was the audition, which to her great surprise was being held in the auditorium of none other than William McKinley High School, yet felt like she was going to be sick.

A small wave of relief and calm swept over her as she felt herself being pulled into the soft embrace of the taller blonde, leaning her head against Quinn's chest. She could feel herself being swept away as she heard the love of her life whisper softly in her ear.

"Baby, you can do this. That song you wrote is remarkable. It has so much emotion in it and the way you sing it, they would be fools not to pick you. Now you're going to go out there and show them who Rachel Skye Berry is, and honey I'll be there every step of the way, right there. I love you."

Rachel's heart skipped a beat at those three little words, words she was now able to say freely without fear of heartbreak. "I love you too."

Their peace was soon interrupted by the sound of the presenter announcing the names of the four judges. She felt her heart had begun to race with the realisation that she was moments away from performing a song that was filled with so much of her that it was practically a page from her journal. However her heart stopped completely when she heard the name of the fourth and final judge.

Shelby Corcoran.

She felt herself start to slightly shake in Quinn's arms as she whispered one small, yet meaningful word.

"Mum?"

"There is no way I'm going out there, to sing _that_ song, to _her_." Rachel started to pace back and forth, with nothing but the curtain separating herself from the audience, from her mother. She felt herself about to do something she had never done before, turn and walk out and away from the stage. Yet it only took one tiny sentence of truth, slipping from the lips she loves so much, to stop herself and grip the microphone that an assistant had just hander her. She sighed knowing Quinn was right.

"She needs to hear the truth, Rae."

She could feel all the eyes on her, but more importantly she could feel _her _eyes on her. She decided to push it all to the back of her mind; Rachel was on stage where she belonged. She took a moment to stare out at the large audience, before addressing the crowd and the judges.

"Hello, I'm Rachel Berry and I will be singing an original song titled "I wonder."

She took a deep breath as she heard the music from the piano start to swell, as she took in a quick peek at the beautiful blonde sitting at the piano, playing her song. For the millionth time that night, she was glad that Quinn was such an excelled pianst.

She closed her eyes as she started to pour out her heart into the lyrics, picturing the childhood of a little girl without a mother, she was remembering her childhood.

_Sometimes I think about you,_

_Wonder if you're out there somewhere, _

_Thinking 'bout me._

_And would you even recognise,_

_The woman that your little girl has grown up to be?_

'_Cos I look in the mirror and all I see,_

_Are your brown eyes, staring back at me._

_They're the only thing, you ever gave to me at all._

At this, Rachel looked up at the woman in question, chocolate eyes meeting identical chocolate eyes. Both filled with tears, Rachel's tears of betrayal, Shelby's tears of guilt. Both filled with equal pain as the younger brunette poured her heart and soul into the song she had never intended for her mother to hear.

_Oh I hear the weather's nice in California._

_There are sunny skies as far as I can see._

_Oh if you ever come back home to small town Lima,_

_I wonder, what you'd say to me._

Rachel remembered the moment she had found her mum- no not her mum, her "birth mother"- she had foolishly allowed herself to be filled with hope and new dreams for the future. Before her mother turned from the piano and walked, once again, out of her life.

_I think about how it aint fair,_

_That you weren't there to braid my hair,_

_like mother's do._

_You weren't around to cheer me on._

_Help me dress for my high school prom,_

_Like mother's do._

Shelby felt the tears fall, as she thought back to that travesty of a 'Gaga' dress that Hiram and Leroy had allowed her baby girl to wear and how she had been gifted those few special hours with Rachel, as the two worked side by side on a new one. Moments she would always hold close to her heart.

_Did you think I didn't need you here?_

_To hold my hand, to dry my tears._

_Did you even miss me through the years at all?_

_Oh I hear the weather's nice in California._

_There are sunny skies as far as I can see._

_Oh if you ever come back home to small town Lima,_

_I wonder, what you'd say to me._

Wasted dreams and hoped filled the thoughts of both women, as the song continued.

_Oh, Forgiveness, is such a simple word,_

_But it's so hard to do,_

_Once you've been hurt._

_Oh I hear the weather's nice in California._

_And just in case, you're wondering about me_

_From now on I won't be in small town Lima_

_Your little girl is off,_

_Your little girl is off,_

_Your little girl is off, to NYC._

Despite the throbbing pain in her heart, Shelby couldn't help but smile at her daughter. Despite Shuester's belief, her girl was strong. Strong enough to make it to New York, to Broadway, to survive the heartbreaks, the slushies and the insults. Her baby girl was a woman now, she was strong-willed, driven and passionate, with a bright future ahead of her.

Shelby hadn't noticed the song ending, the applause, the cheers for an encore, but she did notice Rachel's eyes. The look in them said more than all the songs in the world and it was then Shelby made a decision. She would do anything to take away that look, even if it meant leaving again.

Or just maybe it would mean staying.

Let me know if you want more and I shall do my best and remember reviews really spur me on.  
Hope your days are filled with Carrots and Apples.

~XoXo~


	2. Chapter 2- I hope you dance

**Chapter 2- I hope you dance.**

**So here it is Chapter 2. 'Cos all of you lovelies were so gorram AMAZING! Thank you for your reviews, they wrote this chapter, I merely typed the words. :D It's only a short chapter but I wish to continue, so who know I just might. You know what to do. xx**

**I hope you dance- Lee Ann Womack. **

_**Flashback**_

_Shelby sat at the windowsill, watching the breeze sending the lime leaves fluttering, lost in thought as her hand unconsciously trailed her finger tips over her swollen belly, feeling the kicks from her baby girl, her precious gift. She was taking this sliver to of peace, for this moment, her princess was entirely hers._

_As the sun set behind the buildings of Lima, Shelby finally moved over to the black baby piano in the middle of the living room. Sitting on the cushioned seat, she allowed her eyes to linger over the sheet music in front of her, her handwriting scrawled elegantly across the pages, the song for her daughter. _

_Shelby reached for the start button on the recorder._

"_Hey baby girl. I'm your mum…I know you're going to be very confused someday …and you're going to think I don't love you… but I love you. So, so much…"_

_Shelby's breathe hitched as tears escaped her chocolate orbs._

"…_This is the hardest thing I will EVER do…but I know you will be happy. You are my baby girl. I know it will be years before we can meet… but I want you to know that I have dreams for you and I'll always love you. Mom."_

_Her long fingers slowly started to play the notes that she had written for her angel. Her voice holding strong despite the cracks in her heart, splintering with each second that she was brought closer to having her child taken away. Each line written with the hopes and dreams for her daughters future._

**I hope you never lose your sense of wonder.**

**You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger.**

**May you never take one single breath for granted,**

**God forbid love ever leaves you empty handed.**

**I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.**

**Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens.**

**Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance**

**And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.**

_Shelby looked up as she continued a small smile breaking her grim features as she glimpsed the life she hoped her daughter would someday have._

**I hope you dance **

**I hope you dance**

_Small kicks responded to the young brunette's voice._

_Her breathe slightly shaky as her voice rose higher, hitting each note with effortlessly perfect pitch._

**I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance**

**Never settle for the path of least resistance**

**Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'**

**Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'**

**Don't let some Hell bent heart leave you bitter**

**When you come close to sellin' out, reconsider**

**Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance**

**And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance**

_Her heart felt non-existent, the pain so intense that it numbed her chest, nothing but a warm emptiness where her daughter's soul lived._

**I hope you dance **

**I hope you dance**

_Shelby prayed with all her might that she may get to hold on to her baby, her life. She wanted to see what would become of the angel that lived beneath her heart, her love running through the unborn infant like blood running through her veins._

**I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean**

**Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens**

**Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance**

**And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance**

_The beautiful brunette stopped, the room eerily quite with the exception og her heart wrench sobs that finally broke through. Her heart breaking, her souls tearing and her future dimming as she belted out the final note._

**I hope you dance…**

_**To be continued…**_


End file.
